– Oh dad, you’ve got to hear this: today my teacher taught me how to lie!
– That’s great, son! How did she manage to do this?
– Well, it took me a while toget it, because it’s no simple stuff, but she just gave us lots of examples, she actually dictated a list we had to memorize, and she said that every day she will test us, to see if we studied properly. Here, take a look at the list:
- Don’t trust us adults. We’re unpredictable. We might get up one day, decide we’ve had it with your behavior, and make a scapegoat out or you.
- Always try to lie. Teachers don’t punish you for lying, and that’s even if you do get caught.
- Your best strategy is to make your teacher think that your weak students. This way you’ll also get the most help, and they’ll also bump up your grade in the end, so you don’t “get screwed”.
- Got caught doing something wrong? deny it all. They don’t believe you? deny again. If you deny just enough, and persistently enough, the teacher won’t be able to do anythink to you.
- Do you smoke? too bad. Just make sure you do so in places, where teacher make sure not to find themselves, because we know you smoke there. If we catch you, we’ll have to expel you. And that’s something we really don’t want to do. You still managed to get yourselves caught? go back to 4.
– That’s very impressive, son. Do you think you’ll be able to memorize so much material?
– Sure, dad, cause you didn’t wait for 6: always carry your cheat-sheets with you…